I Never Cried
by emo barbie
Summary: Gene never saw a need to cry, he never saw a need for any of it really. It was just a simple chance...that went horribly wrong. Finny/Gene. Gene's POV


Title: **I Never Cried**

Author: **Emo Barbie**

Rating: **T**

Pairing: **Finny/Gene**

Fanfiction: **A Separate Piece**

Summary: **Gene never saw the need to cry, he never saw the need for any of it really. It was just a random chance...that went terribly wrong.**

Extra: **I tried rereading it over and over again, and I know it doesn't flow that great, but I wrote it so long ago, that no matter how many times I read it, I can never figure out what more there is to say about it!! **

**It was just since I had made a POV from Finny, {Though that fic has NOTHING to do with this one} I wanted to make one from Gene's. {The only difference was that the other fic, they didn't have a relationship going, in this one they did.} **

Minor Notes: Italics_**: **_**Are quotes from the actual book. They just fit so well, and since they were from Gene's point of view I decided that I would use them.**

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**I Never Cried**

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_I never killed anybody and I never developed an intense level of hatred for the enemy...if he was indeed...the enemy._

And no one cries over the enemy, and that was what I kept telling myself over and over again that night, and it was true, I didn't kill Finny. Sure I might have jolted him from the branch and broke his leg, but never did I actually kill him, or even come close to do anything of the sort. It was a random chance that went wrong, because you see that's what life is, it's random. You see in life, people die, and eventually everyone will, but it's the random chance of when, that determines how young or how old you die. And no hatred or pure jealousy will change that chance...and so, I had no reason to cry...

You see, _only Phineas never hated anyone, only Phineas was never scared. Other people experienced this fearful shock somewhere, this sighting of the enemy, the person who you would seek out and try to extinguish_, and so would begin an obsessive labor of defense, the one where you would try anything to protect yourself from getting close to that enemy, but at the same time, close enough to demolish his fire. To knock him from his high horse and crown yourself as superior, as his dominant. That was what I had done, simply...demolished Finny's pride, because all I had done was cripple him from what he did best....sports. And that was as good of a satisfaction as I needed. But I never....never, killed him...and so, there was no need to cry....

I never cried when they lowered him into the ground, because you see, I didn't need to, because you don't cry at your own funeral...and to me, that was just that...I had just lost something...apart of me...buried it in the ground with that cold lifeless body...hidden away forever from all those wondering eyes...but I never cried...

I never cried....and as I left that graveyard, and I went back to that school, I never cried...and as I sat there and stared at his empty bed, his things that would soon be gone...I never cried...no...not even as I lied in that same bed where I would always wake up to find Finny in...with me...I never cried....

And as I sat there and stared out that same window where Finny would stare as I trained...but now the snow was gone, and the military trucks were driving away, and as they did...I realized it was all over, and all those memories came flooding back, the chaste kisses, the longing glances and brief touches. I allowed that one single tear to fall down my cheek, and then like a weak pipe that had suddenly broke from the weight that had been barring down on it for so long, I collapsed then and there and allowed all those pent up emotions, all those things that I had been with holding, and I let them all out...you know why...because like a bomb it hit me, and I realized...that Finny was never gonna come back...and that that one random chance, that one moment of hatred towards him, for his perfection...was all it took to break him, all it took to make him fall...and all it took...to kill him...and I cried.

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Author's note: **Reviews are VERY much appreciated, they always spur me on to write more, and to get better at it so that one day I may actually write something worth more then 9 reviews T_T**


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